The lives of the unemployed, and new ventures

Yes, I have been officially "unemployed" for about a month now, and I love it. Sure there are times where I would rather be working and more productive (as well as making money), but it was something that Jen and I were praying about for months and needed to do. Not everyone can be so lucky. I'm currently volunteering/interning/whatever you wanna call it for Jennifer's work, Housing Greensboro Inc., which can be found here. Basically, I'm just writing up a functional newsletter highlighting the successes of the organization. What makes this really great is Jen's spectacular boss, who is really more of a mentor figure in my mind. He's a great Christian man that is gentle and loving to the people he serves, and serve he does. He is not one to consider his employees "employees" but people he does life with. This is my impression at least.

One thing I have done lately is search out new career opportunities, which is a big factor of me leaving as an insurance specialist. It's given me time to work out as well, which I've appreciated, as well as praying and getting in the word, which I rarely did when I was in my old job. Granted, it was more of my mindset at the time than the actual time I had for it. I'm hoping that this time, however long or short it may be, will give me time to pursue things that matter, and not just let things fall by the wayside and pursue mediocrity in another mediocre job.

Which brings me to this topic. I hope I will also be more consistent in things, blogging being one of them. For anyone who knows me, they know that I'm not at a lack of interests. In fact, I think I have perhaps to many interests that I don't really know what do with them half of the time. I know that I want to capitalize on some of them, and that some of them I can probably do without (going back to school for a music ed. degree? not very feasible at this time). The longer I am not in pursuit of TRYING out the gifts God has given me, or at the very least the desire he has given me, the longer I'll remain in pursuit of mediocrity. Mediocrity does not include having an interest or job that someone else may deem boring mind you, but is more accepting rags, when God wants you to experience him elsewhere where the Holy Spirit can guide your gifts to His glory. I hope I can achieve that.

In this case, I am going to make a new blog. This will be a blog about the writing process, my writing process specifically, as I attempt to tackle one of the hardest things I could ever imagine doing. And one that I imagine will have a lot of naysayers (including myself!). I'm not fantasizing about worldly fame or anything, or that this could get made. I am going to try to write a screenplay. I've been reading some books on the topic lately, and feel that this is the perfect time to try my hand at something I've envisioned for years doing! I don't fancy myself an accomplished writer, and no, school papers don't count. It'll be difficult, but the first thing I'm going to do is just get through it. This blog will remain in tact (for whatever purposes I might write in it time to time).

So the question remains, can I do this?

Sheesh.

It's been a long time. Nearly five months, to be exact. Really to be approximate, but who's counting? My mom asked me last night when she called to wish me a happy birthday (28 btw, more on that later) if I've been writing in my blog lately. I said I haven't in quite some time, but that I probably should. I'm a pretty creative person, or at least I used to be/think I was. I've had a lot on my mind the past few months. It's pretty well known that Jennifer and myself have been looking for other work for quite awhile, with little avail. There was a stint where Jen worked with me at my job (Cobb Chiropractic), and is now working on her portfolio. Pray for her in this time, more than you would for me, because that is far more stressful than tweaking a resume. But anyway...it's not very often I get to just sit down and think about what I've learned about life and where I'm at. I do, but it's in a more progressive mind-frame, whereas I do need rest and reflection from time to time. I was given a raise today and a promotion, but I wasn't excited about it, I more or less thought of what I'd rather be doing. While I'm 'happy' I am given more financially, it doesn't satisfy me at all in the realm of feeling like I'm making a difference in the world. How many people really make a difference occupationally though, other than the obvious examples of full-time evangelists, philanthropists and people of that ilk? I guess I expect too much.

The good news is that I saved $200 by switching to Geico. Okay so not really, but I have had a great birthday week. I love my wife so much that she puts up with me and is actually excited in return when I declare this week my "birthday week." No, not just Wed. January 5th, but the whole week. It doesn't help that December was spent eating more than I should, this week I did a little bit of the same. And a lot of it empty calories at that. We went to a good new restaurant in GSO called Bin 33. The salad was really good, and parts of my meal were scrumptious. I had the scallops with some fennel and citrus, but I don't care for onions or olives much, so that part of the meal I didn't touch. It was a huge place, and at first I thought we were going up to the 11 billionth floor, but no only the 2nd. Afterwards we went to Ben and Jerry's, which no meal should be complete without. Good times were had by all, er, both.

Greek-Style Garlic Shrimp and Orzo (not my recipe)

Every now and then I'll post a recipe here and there, so I don't have to talk about myself or some world issue that's happening. This recipe I got from Rachel Ray's 365 day recipes. I know that people don't consider her Julia Child, nor am I Julie from the movie Julie & Julia (obsessive much?), but I love this recipe. Who knows? One day I might write about trying every recipe in the book.

(photo courtesy of Jennifer A. Limbaugh, aka the wife)

1 small red onion

2/3 lb. orzo (little over half the box)

1 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes*

1/2 cup kalamata olives, pitted and chopped

2 Tbsp. chopped oregano leaves

drizzle of extra virgin olive oil

8 oz. feta cheese, crumbled

1 lb. small shrimp

juice of 1/4 lemon

1/4 cup evoo (4 times around the pan)

6 garlic cloves, minced

1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved

1/4 cup white vermouth or 1/3 cup dry white wine

2 small handfuls of chopped parsley

course black pepper

Heat a large pot of water for the orzo. When the water boils, salt it and cook until al dente.

On the side, season the shrimp with the lemon juice and a little salt (recipe originally calls for an additional 2 Tbsp. lemon zest, I don't do this though)

Heat the 1/4 cup of EVOO (extra virgin olive oil), then add the onions, red pepper flakes, and garlic. Cook for 2 minutes, then add the shrimp and cook for a minute more. Add the cherry tomatoes, parsley, olives, and oregano, and season w/ salt and pepper. Cook until the shrimp are pink and firm, then turn off the heat.

Drain the cooked orzo and drizzle with a touch of EVOO to keep it from sticking. Serve the orzo topped w/ feta crumbles and the shrimp mixture. (makes 4 servings)

Rachael Ray 365: No Repeats, A Year of Deliciously Different Dinners (Clarkson Potter/Publishers, New York. 2005)

*Just a note-I like to put less red pepper flakes in mine, so about 1/2 a Tbsp. for a still spicy but less overkill version. Also, the recipe calls for fresh parsley and oregano leaves, but if you're like me you don't want to spend more on stuff you won't need later. Consult your spice rack, it's still great. And by 'handfuls' of parsley, she means in the palm.

I realize that not everyone likes olives or feta cheese. I didn't either, until I had them in this (and feta taste great with pepperoni pizza as well). Broaden your horizons and don't discount them if you want to make this.

Been a Long Time, Been a Long Time, been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time.

I never intended to be absent from this blog for so long, but time has a way of speeding up over the summer. It's not that I have a readership to account for (I don't, I really do this for more for self-reflection), but I would like to remain consistent at things, writing being one of them. There comes a time that when you don't challenge your mind in the areas of art, writing, argument, reading, et al. that you begin to lose yourself. Not to mention you aren't getting any smarter. I know it sounds slightly pretentious, or a better word for it, elitist, but I've found the further I get away from schooling and into a job that I did not spend four years spending money to train for, the less intellectually stimulated and more complacent I get. I like the flavor vanilla, but not when it's applied to my life...

Our lives were created to have meaning and purpose. This is not something we just thought up for the heck of it, but rather to keep us going. It is something outside ourselves that happens when we eventually realize we never had the power to conceive of the thought in the first place. This can mostly be applied spiritually in an absolute sense, but also in the sense that our giftings spill over into our personal lives. I like the thought of it, but I do not always 'get' it. The publishing job that I will get in some obscure "tomorrow" is not the goal like I think it is, but rather a chance to exercise a talent given to me by God. Hefty and bold language for sure, as I could wake up tomorrow and decide "Oh, He didn't have that for me after all," but I always say your thoughts come from somewhere. I could be a terrible publicity assistant after all, but I would never know it if not for trying. This economy has made me think a lot. I'm sure many, like me, have attributed their value to what career goals they're not progressing towards. Career coaches would say "you can't be too hard on yourself, it's a different time," but they are missing the key issue.

No matter the time or situation, our worth is not in our paycheck, or in what we do for a living. Once this recession fully recovers, I wonder if we'll remember that.

Gazpacho for the Summertime

For a few weeks now I've been wanting to try 'fruit soup,' or fruit gazpacho as I guess it's officially called. I remember years ago when my sister tried the same thing and I'm not sure that it turned out quite like she wanted it to. I picked up an easy one online (yes, on Harris Teeter's website) that looked the easiest and, best of all, the quickest.

Raspberry Gazpacho

After making, I noticed it was a little runny, probably due to all the lime seltzer it called for. Not a bad recipe, though some adjustments were definitely needed. For people who aren't so keen on raspberrys, I recommend using blackberrys because the raspberrys are kind of bitter tasting.

1 ½ pints raspberries HT Naturals frozen organic whole raspberries ½ HT lime seltzer 4 mint leaves, julienne and one cluster for garnish 1 cup minced cantaloupe 1 cup minced honeydew 1 cup minced pineapple 3 tbsp fresh lime juice Directions: In a blender, combine raspberries, and process till smooth. Transfer to a mixing bowl. Combine the raspberry puree with remaing ingredients serve chilled.

I didn't use mint in mine, and I probably should have, because it may have mellowed the taste of raspberry some. Since I don't like honeydew or cantaloupe, I put blackberrys and bananas in it instead. Also, 1/2 of a lime seltzer bottle is too much, so probably a 1/4 will do. Has anyone tried this or another fruit gazpacho and found it to be too much? Since this was a little bitter, is it better to use something like creme fraiche to lighten it up and give it more texture or something more sweet? If I do have any readers (besides me and my wife) yet, please give me your take on a better way to do this.

The Promise of Living: What it means to be an American

Yes, this post is about Aaron Copland's famous piece, from the opera A Tender Land, so forgive me if I wax a little about it. I know it can be off-putting when people talk about movies/writers/directors/books/music as if they are truly in love with them, not just infatuated. Now, I consider myself a man of eclectic tastes, which does not mean that I'm metrosexual or the like, it just means that I like a broad scope of things, but maybe not others in the same category. I know that doesn't sound like it makes much sense but bear with me (because I know you wouldn't want to bare with me, I am married after all).

But anyway, there is something about this piece of music that has always felt very American to me. I'm mainly seeing this as a way to reflect on Independence Day last week, still reeling from the glorious fireworks at Camp Lejeune. It is true, that the composer himself has always modeled his pieces around American archetypes and iconography, but this one in particular just reflects such a positive mood for those who are and those wanting to be American in the turn of the century. There is a lot of of controversy these days about the denial of the "American dream," which is not something I'm for or against. I think the dream itself is a lie and not be something that everyone should aspire to (see debt crisis), but yes, they should have the right to aspire for. There is also a blurring definition of what it means to be a citizen. Sure, you are either a legal citizen, or you're not, but that does not mean people aren't going to argue anyway.

But that's not what this piece is about. I cannot say enough words to explain this, you can't describe nostalgia in fact. A nostalgia for a time that I was never familiar with, yet long for and have only seen in a parent's old pictures. Someone was so kind to post this on youtube awhile back, so I encourage you to just watch it and forget all the news pundits, the political jargon, and your iPhone/droid/blackberry.

The Beginning of an End

"Gone are the quiet college rooms, gone the wind-swayed English elms and cawing rooks, and the familiar volumes on the shelves, and in their place there rises a vision of the great calm ocean gleaming in shaded silver lights beneath the beams of the full moon."-excerpt from She, by H. Rider Haggard

This is my latest foray into the world of web logging, and I do hope it's more successful than my previous attempts. I've titled this blog "The grass is always greener..." because like many, I appear content with what I have but am always thinking that if I had this or that then my life would be better. Being of Christian faith, I know that my true treasure lies in my Savior Jesus Christ and his death on the Cross which has paid the debt for my sins. This also leads to relationship with Him, and a gift that no monetary element can buy nor attempt to afford.

I know this. And I often think this. But I don't always do this.

Jesus said to take up your cross daily and follow Him. Only through Him will I have life to the full. In various points of my life, there are specific struggles that I come across that prevent me from seeing how to live by grace. The struggles mostly have to do with a trial of some sort, like being in school for longer than you wish while all of your friends have graduated, or a death (or impending) of a loved one. The current trial of divine stasis is the career field. I say stasis, because like any well-written play, there needs to be transition and some calm so that you can set up the characters for whatever thing is going to come their way next. I mention divine because, well, does this need any explanation? He is in control, so duh, the trials are to make sure I know full well that I am not. There are times where I excuse myself (for acting like a spoiled brat of course) by saying "I'm a married man now! Don't you think I deserve this great, life altering career not just for myself, but for Jennifer as well."

You'd think by now I'd learn that He doesn't really believe my "logical" and "rational" arguments.

Transition, I guess, is the spice of life. Without it there would not only be moments where we can plan for the next step, but to enjoy what we do have in those times. This includes those around us. If I was only complaining in my mind about where I'm going, then I'm not noticing where I am at.